Wanting and Willing

Have you ever had the experience of wanting something to shift in a relationship and it just doesn’t happen? Maybe you want it to get better, maybe you want just a few things to change, or maybe you want it to end. Whatever it is, you say that you really want it but nothing seems to occur.

I recently was with a friend who is very serious about wanting to end her relationship. It is bordering on the abusive and although she knows it has to end and truly wants to end it, she doesn’t pull the plug. This situation reminds me of so many times in life when we really want something and yet it doesn’t happen.

We usually have a vision of what we want to materialize yet that is not enough to create the change. We also need to take action. We need to take a step in the direction of the change we wish to see. However, there is another very crucial piece besides having the idea and taking action. Without it, you will not be able to take action, that’s how important it is, and when it is missing, any action you take will probably be ineffective.

The missing link is willingness. That means that you are willing to do whatever it takes to create the desired end. For example, my friend wanted to end the relationship yet there was a part of her that was unwilling to let go of the good parts. She was able to see that although she really wanted to end it, she wasn’t completely willing.

This could be summarized in three steps: having an idea, a vision or a goal, being willing to let go, feel, do or risk whatever it takes to get what you want and then taking action towards creating what you want. Whenever you really want to shift something be sure to check in and determine just how willing you are…..it will make all the difference.

Marina