Connection

When I was in traditional psychotherapy I often wondered if there were some universal themes common to all of us. Now that I am on the other side of the couch, so to speak, I see that the answer is yes, we are all the same at the core. We have different circumstances, situations and stories but underlying all of these we are all humans searching, consciously or unconsciously, for the same things. We want to love and to be loved. We want peace and joy. We want connection to ourselves and to others.

Why are people running around unhappy, unfulfilled, depressed and sick instead of feeling happy and loving? Why does joy elude us? The answer is found in the Cliff Notes to Fulfillment 101. Joy eludes us because we are in our heads creating reasons, rationalizations and stories, talking “about” our feelings, holding on to the past or traveling to an unknown future.

Are joy, love and connection thoughts in our heads or are they experiences we feel in our bodies? We know the answer because we’ve all had moments of feeling them….in our bodies. The question is how do we prolong it enough to create a state of being in joy, love and connection?

You can begin to create this experience for yourself by becoming the observer of your body and your voice. A few things to pay attention to:

• Is your mind always on the go? Are you in the present moment vs. past or future? What does your mind do in down time? Are you conscious of what you are feeling in your body when you are so busy thinking?
• Are you aware of your breath? Is it shallow? Do you experience yourself and your body differently when you allow yourself a deeper breath?
• How aware are you of your body and what it is feeling? Are you conscious of bodily
  sensations of feelings such as fear, shame, joy? Do you easily get hurt, trip etc.
  because your body is just something you drag around because it’s attached to your
  head?
• When you are speaking, are you telling a story? Are you in drama looking for
  attention of some sort? Are you talking “about” what you are feeling? In other
  words, are you talking from the neck up or the neck down?
• Your voice will also tell you a lot. Is it coming from somewhere in your head? Is it slightly loud or elevated in pitch? Is it coming from your throat? From your nose? Does it have a whine to it? Practice speaking from your solar plexus. Bring the voice deep down inside your body and speak from your core.

These are a few questions that can guide your self-observation to bring you more into your body. When we are aware of our feelings on a body level, we share them more genuinely with the people in our lives creating more real and authentic relationships and bringing joy, love and connection into our lives. Connect deeply with your body and watch the world start connecting with you!!