Letting Go

Image by Omiee

The sinking feeling in my stomach told me that something bad was going to happen. It started with the phone call that morning, “Marc you need to be in the office at 1pm today.” A supervisor isn’t told to leave a construction site in the middle of the day for anything good.

I sat down in the office with the two head bosses and they closed the door.
“Marc, I think you know what’s going on with the economy.” I was working in Manhattan and live in the area. Who hadn’t? Every time you turned on the radio or the TV there was doom and gloom on every station.

“The market’s down and it’s not like it’s a down a 100 points. I’m sorry but we’re going to have to let you go.” They went on to tell me that it had nothing to do with my performance and that I had done a great job.

I felt a rush of anger and frustration and I looked at the floor. There was silence in the room. I had given up a lot to work there. I worked 12-15 hours a days six days a week. I had canceled all my summer plans and vacation. There were so many thoughts running through my head I couldn’t speak. It was about a minute before I looked up.

We discussed the details. I was to get my week’s vacation pay, and reimbursed for roughly $1,000 in expenses that I had incurred. There was no severance. They told me I could keep the phone for a few weeks to contact people and look for work. They handed me an envelope and told me to go see the guy in HR. “Thank you for the experience, and I wish you the best of luck,” I said while shaking their hands.

I walked out of the office and past secretaries who all knew what had happened. It’s kind of funny the look on people’s face when you’re let go, almost as if they are at a funeral. I saw one of my co-workers who was next in line. “How you doing?” he asked. “I’m great, you?” “I’m just trying to stay alive,” he said with a worried look on his face. I wished him luck and headed to HR.

The HR guy wasn’t much help and only brought more bad news. “So what is the premium if I want to continue the health insurance coverage?” He asked me if I was married or single. I told him I was single. “The rate is about to renew and I believe it’s $768 a month. Yes that’s it, $768 a month.” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. “For a single person!”

Outside the office it was beautiful. It was October 15th and the sun was out and the air was warm. I started walking up Broadway and couldn’t help but noticing everyone else who was out and about. I bet he has a job, and her too. Casually I was making assessments and judgments in my head about people I would never know or meet. Nobody really seemed to look happy. I would have liked to keep my job I thought, and I would be happy..really. Oh well, no matter now.

I went home and let my family and close friends know what happened. I could sense the fear in their voices. They almost all said the same thing “you better start looking for a new job right now. The economy is only going to get worse.” I started making calls right away to talk to other people in construction. I also filed for unemployment,

Job Search

I got a few leads that I followed up on immediately. I had an interview the next morning. The interview went great and I was told that I had to meet the president before I was hired. It was only a formality I was assured. Could I meet him tomorrow? Of course I could! I left the interview feeling great. “I’m not going to miss a beat,” I said to myself as I was driving home.

The next day I didn’t hear back from the company and had trouble reaching the guy I interviewed with. I put my resumes up on several career sites and started making calls to whom ever I knew and wherever I could find a number. “The longer you are out of work, the harder it is to get back in,” a friend told me. Almost every call for employment I made was met with the following responses “we’re in a hiring freeze”, “we’re not hiring now, but you can submit your resume for a future position”, “that position has been put on hold.”

I turned on CNBC in the mornings and got hooked into the doom and gloom. All bad news, and yet the people in the studios were laughing and joking around. What are they so happy about? My guess was that people were finally paying close attention to them. I decided to stop watching CNBC, as all that was doing was exposing me to the collective fear.

The Stigma

I also quickly got tired of friends and family asking me about the job search. There’s a stigma attached to being unemployed. People mean well, but their reaction almost suggests that you’re deficient in some way if you aren’t working or that you don’t have any “good news” on your search. I remember a friend telling me on her job search that she finally had to tell everyone to stop asking her. “Trust me, I’ll let you know when something good happens.”

Letting Go

It was about a week into my unemployment that I was reminded of a conversation that I had a few years back with a good friend of mine. He was going through a tough situation and he said, “Let go or be dragged. I’m going through it anyway so why do I want to make myself suffer?

I was let go and in turn I had to learn let go. I had to stop being attached to all the outcomes and factors that I could not control in my life. I had to learn and practice letting go. How could I do this?

Refocusing

I spent the next couple of days reflecting on what was important to me that I still had in my life. My family, friends, health, faith, and the website I have been working on, Raised Path. I got grounded and decided to focus on the positive. I believe everything happens for a reason, and that this whole experience was going to be a lesson in letting and making space for new and better opportunities.

I asked myself how I could enjoy this time off and make it productive. I had to refocus and take actions on positive things. I’m going through this anyway, so why make it painful.

Taking Action

I made a list of things that I was committed to accomplishing on my time off that included: spend more time working on raisedpath.com, getting into great physical shape, focus and spend time working with those less fortunate, writing, study for and pass the test for LEED certification (green building standard), giving away all my old clothes, and doing a general overhaul/cleaning of my life.

I started to take action on these immediately and began to schedule all the activities I would need to accomplish this. I’m getting around to projects that I have put off for months and years. I also spend some quiet time each day reflecting. By taking all the right actions, I feel free from being attached to the results.

Perspective

When I was working I was so caught up in the daily grind that I barely slowed down to appreciate all the gifts in my life. Now that I’m not working I’ve got less cash flow but all my time to appreciate each day. Would I rather be working, yes, but I’m not in control of that right now. Getting let go by my company has been an interesting experience. It has given me the opportunity to let go and appreciate life. I’ve been able to think about what’s important and focus on projects that I’m passionate about and have neglected. I know that I will look back on this period and appreciate it. I have the great opportunity to grow as a person, practice patience, and ultimately let go. I guess I’ve been able to let go because I’ve taken all the right actions. I know ultimately things will work out and I will be ok.

Marc was hired and returned to week two weeks after this article was written.